trysts. flings. i think kids these days call them situationships. those brief encounters lasting a few weeks, maybe a few months. we crave them, we curse them, we’re wholly consumed by them. we swear never again—until never happens again.
I feel like so many people are afraid to just be themselves that they look for any sort of relationship to fill that void, and once’s that is gone the cycle continues. It’s so hard to find another person who is also on your level with being confident in what ever weirdness they bring and want to see you at your worst as well as your best, to hype you up just as much as you want to be hyped up, to just be excited to experience all the boring and mundane that life has to offer with you. Hell one of my favourite activities with my friends is tagging along with each other to just run errands, I want someone that is just as excited to do what with me as they are for date night. Unfortunately, I am still looking for someone like that, so I feel you.
Whenever I try to connect with someone, I only get left with disappointment. People nowadays refuse to know each other on a deep level—I’m tired of being asked if I have eaten or what I’m currently doing. I’m tired of surface-level conversations. I’m afraid of pouring my whole heart and soul into someone for it to be unsure—meaningless.
You’re amazing as always, Justin! I love reading about your thoughts! 🥹
navigated the fast pace of a quarter system in college, the short-term relationship ultimately leaves me with a sense of emptiness... thanks for sharing this masterpiece :)
“To be loved for who you are not is to not be loved at all.” Love this! I’ve started feeling this way about relationships so much more recently. Learning that it feels so much better to be loved for who I actually am whether it be romantically or just amongst friends. It’s scary to put yourself out there and be vulnerable but I think it’s so much more rewarding and you get to have all these opportunities to grow from those experiences.
imagine reading your favorite actor's words about something you're quite going through now. i feel seen. this is amazing. also justin please get out of my walls.
as a 34-year-old, I sometimes wish I could feel that fire again too… but here I am, too lazy to move and too jaded to have fun. aging is a scam. anyway, super glad to see you writing again, Justin! happy belated birthday—hope you find that fire again!
I just want to hug you really tight cause I've read those words like if it was me 10 years ago ❤️🩹 (you have a dm on ig from me but I guess you receive many everyday). I'm so proud of you and all you've accomplished. Don't accept the bare minimum. You deserve much more, Justin.
I think that absence is felt even more because we know that rooted deep love exists. It exists within our friendships, families, and chosen families. We forget sometimes and then are reminded of it when we arrive at a layover.
"i want the whole damn fire" this. the worst part of all is if you were to find someone who you loved fearlessly and truly, but they couldn't do the same for you.
to be loved is to be seen, for all of it, the good and the bad. when that love ignites, our brain goes haywire on how to make it last. the simplest act of staying is love, sometimes we even get it a shot. but what hurts is, sometimes love isn't efficient enough, sometimes fear takes over and becomes the central point of decision.
i don't just want the flicker of doubt and fear, i want the whole damn fire of certainty. i want it all.
thank you for posting this, i really do resonate w it, especially rn while trying to process a breakup. i'll now go cry over a cookie now, thanks jmoney.
comparing a situationship to a summer camp is INSANE, did you steal my journals?? also, this is so beautifully written, i almost feel sick. keep going, justin 🩷
Fire is mesmerizing, but it devours. Maybe it’s not about finding the whole fire, but learning to tend to the warmth without burning down the house
I feel like so many people are afraid to just be themselves that they look for any sort of relationship to fill that void, and once’s that is gone the cycle continues. It’s so hard to find another person who is also on your level with being confident in what ever weirdness they bring and want to see you at your worst as well as your best, to hype you up just as much as you want to be hyped up, to just be excited to experience all the boring and mundane that life has to offer with you. Hell one of my favourite activities with my friends is tagging along with each other to just run errands, I want someone that is just as excited to do what with me as they are for date night. Unfortunately, I am still looking for someone like that, so I feel you.
aaaand sometimes you’re in a layover long enough that you wake up one day and realise you’re eligible for citizenship
l o l. so good.
Whenever I try to connect with someone, I only get left with disappointment. People nowadays refuse to know each other on a deep level—I’m tired of being asked if I have eaten or what I’m currently doing. I’m tired of surface-level conversations. I’m afraid of pouring my whole heart and soul into someone for it to be unsure—meaningless.
You’re amazing as always, Justin! I love reading about your thoughts! 🥹
navigated the fast pace of a quarter system in college, the short-term relationship ultimately leaves me with a sense of emptiness... thanks for sharing this masterpiece :)
“To be loved for who you are not is to not be loved at all.” Love this! I’ve started feeling this way about relationships so much more recently. Learning that it feels so much better to be loved for who I actually am whether it be romantically or just amongst friends. It’s scary to put yourself out there and be vulnerable but I think it’s so much more rewarding and you get to have all these opportunities to grow from those experiences.
imagine reading your favorite actor's words about something you're quite going through now. i feel seen. this is amazing. also justin please get out of my walls.
Every human beong needs company, otherwise he may even go crazy. 😩
We live in a time where authenticity is only shown to your therapist, maybe.
(Anyway, this reading is a big emotional rollercoaster.).
as a 34-year-old, I sometimes wish I could feel that fire again too… but here I am, too lazy to move and too jaded to have fun. aging is a scam. anyway, super glad to see you writing again, Justin! happy belated birthday—hope you find that fire again!
I've never been a layover or a fling kind of person. Now I'm wondering if that's connected?
I just want to hug you really tight cause I've read those words like if it was me 10 years ago ❤️🩹 (you have a dm on ig from me but I guess you receive many everyday). I'm so proud of you and all you've accomplished. Don't accept the bare minimum. You deserve much more, Justin.
I think that absence is felt even more because we know that rooted deep love exists. It exists within our friendships, families, and chosen families. We forget sometimes and then are reminded of it when we arrive at a layover.
"i want the whole damn fire" this. the worst part of all is if you were to find someone who you loved fearlessly and truly, but they couldn't do the same for you.
to be loved is to be seen, for all of it, the good and the bad. when that love ignites, our brain goes haywire on how to make it last. the simplest act of staying is love, sometimes we even get it a shot. but what hurts is, sometimes love isn't efficient enough, sometimes fear takes over and becomes the central point of decision.
i don't just want the flicker of doubt and fear, i want the whole damn fire of certainty. i want it all.
thank you for posting this, i really do resonate w it, especially rn while trying to process a breakup. i'll now go cry over a cookie now, thanks jmoney.
comparing a situationship to a summer camp is INSANE, did you steal my journals?? also, this is so beautifully written, i almost feel sick. keep going, justin 🩷
love truly is a fire that burns us but only we choose to keep it a flame